The Minimalist
Boater |
Ahoy
by Guest Columnist Bill Sandifer
[email protected]
A Call to Yardarms:
Seems frivolity of late has taken a back seat to angst; the claptrap of
terrorism, corporate scandal, and recession have turned moods malignant.
Rather than shoring up the economy, I suggest we shore up our psyche
instead. And what better way than loosing the dock line and leaving cares
ashore for a bit. My boats have been ignored for too long, so I'll use
this opportunity to reconnect with the community of boats and boaters, a
recollection of easier times: the foundations of my
minimalist
boating.
My father rented a patch of land on a small South Carolina millpond,
dismantled a tumbled-down country store, and built himself a cabin from
those ancient timbers. I spent my time in a variety of borrowed wooden
fishing boats, no outboards or trolling motors in a pond chock full of
cypress knees that would take out shear pins in wholesale quantities.
Paddles were motive force and we learned the strokes. One bright spring
day, my best friend and I decided a boat race was in order but were short
one craft for the competition. A search of all the nooks, where fishermen
kept their boats chained, yielded not a single open Yale. At the end of
the line, however, was one hazy outline resting about a foot beneath the
surface. Eddie and I tugged, heaved, and landed that tired fish. The wood
had rotted through in a few places, was soft in others but looked
repairable. We scrounged a bit of ply from my father's building site and
patched the boat. I got the short straw and the spawn of Neptune. A brief
countdown and we were off. Eddie and I were well-matched, his father a
serious fisherman who had provided him with many opportunities to rise
well before dawn and lend an arm to get to the headwaters where the big
ones lived. We were both thrashing, staying neck and neck until I began to
lose ground and gain water. The old boat we had patched was not happy with
being summoned from the aquatic afterlife and was in process of sinking,
tired seams separating from the demands of the race. As Eddie pulled away,
it didn't take me long to compute the rate of water acquisition. A quick
hail for help ended the competition, Eddie being the decent sort. He
maneuvered alongside, saw my plight and took me aboard. The old green boat
didn't take long to return to the bottom, no more than a couple hundred
feet from her initial resting place. We counted the morning a success,
because it had given us adventure at a cost of some free scraps of ply,
straightened nails, and a bit of sweat. The return on investment would do
a corporate ledger proud. Thus was born the inverse proportion theorem,
the foundation of minimalist boating: The amount of fun is inversely
proportional to the amount spent. By definition, we had had one hell of a
good time.
The return on investment has not diminished with age. There's still
comfort in plying the quiet backwaters. The search for alternate methods,
materials, and motive force has revealed a world of interesting concepts
and people. I don't remember when I discovered Phil Bolger, but his "Open
Minds" book gave me many hours of pleasant reading. When I caved in to the
lure of the Web, I discovered Jim Michalak and other spirits free from the
straits of convention. This is not to speak ill of conventional boats and
boaters, only conventional attitudes that tend toward exclusion. I've met
many everyday folk who delighted in my odd craft. That's been one of the
most satisfying parts of this whole trip, the people and the chats. A
power boater gave way to my blue and yellow inflatable sailing across
Beaufort harbor, a matching windscoop adding panache as a mini-spinnaker,
the boater and his passengers grinning as we eased by their bow. We were
minimal, color-coordinated, and made great progress downwind, arriving at
the dinghy dock fresh and ready for beer at the BackStreet Pub, not a
stroke necessary for our arrival. Banjeau, my work-in-progress shantyboat,
did double duty as a camper while on her trailer. "Prairie Chicken," her
nom de plume in current Conestoga incarnation, provided cozy quarters for
my daughter and me as we drove from North Carolina to California. A local
in a small Wyoming town inquired about my "duck blind." He figured it was
about the most luxurious one he'd seen. "I don't understand," intoned a
serious river boater and fishermen in Oregon, gazing at the Chicken and a
nearby ply creation similar in concept but sleeker in execution. His
aluminum river boat bristled with horsepower while the Chicken's profile
eclipsed her 15-horse Johnson. We talked design and why his float had such
a strong upturned bow - a cultural chasm bridged by curiosity - boating
voyeurism.
Kindred spirits
Coffee brewed in the Chicken's small galley one morning at a campground
in eastern Washington, when I heard a couple engaged in a hushed
discussion. "It's a boat," said she. "It's a camper," said he. I hailed
them, "You're both right." A warm chat ensued about odd things, and all
went away enriched. Boats and dogs of questionable heritage are great ways
to meet people.
A quiet cove near St. Michaels
St. Michaels, Maryland, just off the Chesapeake, was the probably the
most incongruent of the Chicken's travels. Host to wealthy boaters and
neighbor to the Chesapeake Maritime Museum, St. Michaels Marina provided
five days of relatively inexpensive lodging compared to the $257 a night
accommodation offered state agency staff attending an environmental
conference. Nestled between a corpulent Bayliner and a sleek charter
sailing catamaran, we relished the attention of the local bartender cum
historian who provided us with lore, and a crew member from "Principia,"
an incredibly beautiful, if anti-minimalist, classic motor yacht slipped
nearby. Unused to high cotton, we felt a bit awed. It was a wasted
emotion. There were those who snubbed, but the majority exhibited
curiosity and warmth, drawn to this ungainly interloper. And, as if to
underscore the whimsy of fate, upon return from an afternoon of exploring
the river, we were greeted by two couples who were curious about the
awkward craft bashing through the gathering chop of an approaching storm.
We chatted as the Chicken was lashed to shore. The flow of conversation
narrowed to a common heritage - beyond Southern, beyond regional, to the
same small South Carolina town, the same high school. Standing before me
was none other than one of the revered upperclassmen that every freshman
goggles at as he skitters to class, frightened of his own shadow. The
passage of time had erased the unfathomable chasm between frosh and
senior, and an easy, delightful recollection ensued. Plans were made for
breakfast and a tour of his absolutely gorgeous 40 foot Sabre. Once again,
the odd harvest of minimalism had provided.
***
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